“Chimera...” he called out to me… as I was walking away.... I wanted to keep walking till I could no more feel his eyes on me.. but I turned around.. and then I couldn’t look away from him… we held that gaze forever… at least it seemed like forever… I thought to myself ‘I knew this would happen.. it was destined.. we didn’t talk about it much but it was the fact that we weren’t meant to be…’ No strings attached..’ That’s what it always was… so why was this not feeling right.. why was this pain not unknown… I was lost in thought.. when I heard him call out to me again… “Chimera…” he said .. “Please don’t go.. stay with me… I want to reminisce about the moments we have spent together and freeze them forever… “ I just stood there trying to absorb all the happenings of that moment.. Struggling, when his words echoed in my head.. Figuring out what they meant… but it was all in vain.. all I could think of was how I was so deeply in love with him.. And it ached to think I might never see him again ever..
I was numb.. That is exactly what I wanted to be but not from the pain.. I wanted to feel numb at the fact that I would never hear the sound of his deep voice again… never feel the careful and caring touch of his hand… and now I could just feel something warm on my face.. Trickling down my cheek… this was it, I thought... I have done what I should have forbidden myself from doing…..
He walked up to me... And cupped my face in his palms and I looked up at him… with tearful eyes… he instantly knew I was feeling miserable… he embraced me and whispered in my ears.. “hey.. please don’t cry.. Let it happen.. It is going to be alright..” Those words made me smile... I had heard them before…they made me realize how bad he had always been at consoling…. At reassuring me that it was not the end of the world.. but There was always so much more to the things he’d say… I could listen to him talk for hours and possessed the power to elevate my spirit to unreachable heights... he simply made sense … I admired him for that.. he was honest.. Something I could not be.. and the very reason that had led to the dawn of this very day… I complained to him about how I never really understood him but I actually had him all figured out.. I told him he was complex… but in actuality he was simple…
I was always in awe of the things he’d say.. of the things he’do… I would never let a chance of letting him know how, as I usually called him, “awesome” ,he was, slip by..
He inspired me.. he made me search my soul.. reach within… and brought out a lot of things in me that I thought I was incapable of.. he never hesitated to tell me I could be better.. better than anyone only if I wanted to and took to it willingly.. he made me want to push myself to the limits to prove to him that I could be what he was expecting of me.. and I liked feeling challenged in a way.. ..”be responsible” he said to me..”get serious.. grow up..” and at that I blatantly smiled.. I weathered his patience each time…but he brought out the best in me… best of what I could possibly be.. he never said it out loud.. but I knew he cared.. more than anything..he wanted to see me evolve.. he wanted me to be ambitious.. to want more from myself.. and as insatiable as he is.. there had to be something missing.. time n again…. I was only getting closer.. not quite there yet.. but it was worth it.. it felt right.. it felt perfect…
Before I realized it, my thoughts came out loud, “you are so bad at this..!! “ I exclaimed “even after all these years you still couldn’t say something better than that... Will you ever change!!”.. and we both chuckled …I wanted to hold on to this moment for eternity....